He Had A Body Like Batman

I Received Rejection Letters For Ten Years (one On A Napkin, Written In Crayon.) I Had All My Rejection Notices Stored In A Box. When The Box Was Finally Full I Took It To The Curb And Set It On Fire. The Next Day I Went Out And Got A Temp Job.

I Always Know It's Sunday Because I Wake Up Feeling Apologetic. That's One Of The Cool Things About Being A Catholic . . . It's A Multifaceted Experience. If You Lose The Faith, Chances Are You'll Keep The Guilt, So It Isn't As If You've Been Skunked Altogether.

I Don't Feel So Good." Lula Said. And She Farted. She Squeezed Her Eyes Shut Tight And Did A Full Minute-long Fart. "excuse Me." She Said. I Was Horrified And Impressed All At The Same Time. It Was A Record Breaking Fart. On My Best Day, I Couldn't Come Near To Farting Like That.

Nice Dress You're Almost Wearing. You Ever Think About Changing Professions?" -ranger

I Was Watching Television And I Saw How You Stick Your Fingers In A Person's Eyes To Slow Them Down." Grandma Mazur