He Did Nothing In Particular, And Did

To Sit In Solemn Silence On A Dull, Dark Dock In A Pestilential Prison With A Life-long Lock Awaiting The Sensation Of A Short, Sharp Shock From A Cheap And Chippy Chopper On A Big, Black Block.

Oh, I Am A Cook And A Captain Bold, And The Mate Of The Nancybrig, And A Bos'sun Tight, And A Midshipmite, And The Crew Of The Captain's Gig!

He Led His Regiment From Behind. He Found It Less Exciting.

Bow, Bow, Ye Lower Middle Classes! Bow, Bow, Ye Tradesmen, Bow, Ye Masses!

It Isn't So Much What's On The Table That Matters, As What's On The Chairs.