Having A Beard Is A Good Way

Automatic Paper Towel Dispensers Are A Solution To Something That Was Never A Problem In The First Place.

I Like To Stand Near Atm Machines, And When Somebody Types In Their Pin Number, I Go, 'got It!' And Then I Run Away.

It's Not The Size Of The Dog In The Fight, It's The Size Of The Dog's Owner - And The Distance You Are From Your Car.

Earrings Are The Same As Sneezes: Two Is Okay, But Ten In A Row Is Annoying. If You Have Two Then, God Bless You.

A Glove Is A Very Literal Looking Hand Puppet.