Have You Ever Had Sex With A

I've Never Been Disappointed By Politicians. I've Never Invested That Much In Them In The First Place.

When I Wake Up On A Monday Morning And I Realise I Don't Have To Go And Work At The Civil Service, I Really Think I've Won.

In 1987, I Was In Edinburgh Doing My First One-man Show. I Took Part In A Kickabout With Some Fellow Comedians And Tripped Over My Trousers And Heard This Cracking Sound In My Leg. A Couple Of Days Later I Went Into A Coma And Was Diagnosed With A Pulmonary Embolism.

I'll Never Forget My First Experience Of Swede. It Was At School And I Thought I Was Getting Mashed Potato. I've Never Got Over It.

It Was A Bizarre Existence I Led In My Early Twenties - That Cliche Of The Comedian Who Goes Out And Entertains A Roomful Of People And Then Goes Home To A Lonely Bedsit Was Unbelievably Poignant For Me Because That Was Exactly What I Was Doing. I Had Periods Of Real Loneliness.