Happiness Is A Very Small Desk And

Humor Is The Most Honest Of Emotions. Applause For A Speech Can Be Insincere, But With Humor, If The Audience Doesn't Like It There's No Faking It.

The World Now Has So Many Problems That If Moses Had Come Down From Mount Sinai Today, The Two Tablets He'd Carry Would Be Aspirin.

I Understand The Big Food Companies Are Developing A Tearless Onion. I Think They Can Do It - After All, They've Already Given Us Tasteless Bread.

Older People Shouldn't Eat Health Food, They Need All The Preservatives They Can Get.

There's So Much Pollution In The Air Now That If It Weren't For Our Lungs There'd Be No Place To Put It All.