Half Man, Half Sit-out-the-season.

I Don't Know What That Gas Is Made Of, But It Can't Smell Any Worse Than Ernie Johnson 's Gym Bag.

They Always Try To Make It Like Jocks Discriminate Against Gay People. I've Been A Big Proponent Of Gay Marriage For A Long Time, Because As A Black Person, I Can't Be In For Any Form Of Discrimination At All.

Listening To A Woman Is Almost As Bad As Losing To One. There Are Only Three Things That Women Are Better At Than Men: Cleaning, Cooking, And Having Sex.

Every Time I Think About Changing A Diaper, I Run A Little Bit Harder And A Little Bit Faster To Make Sure I Can Afford A Nanny Until My Daughter's Old Enough To Take Care Of That Herself.

What I Told [my Teammates] After The Game Was I'm Just Fortunate [for] My 16 Years Because, This [injury] Can Happen Every Single Night You Go Out And Play... It Can Be Over In One Instant, So You Should Appreciate Everyday.