Great, As Long As You're Happy

I Don't Know How Much Of A Natural Human I Am. Y'know, The Truth Is, I Never Set Out To Do That, And I Don't Think Of Myself Like That. I Don't Think Like That. It's Not Really About Promotion - I Don't Really Understand The Idea Of Promotion, Talking To A Camera For More Money. That's Just Money. And I Like Money, Don't Get Me Wrong. I Don't Know. I Don't Get It. I Don't Understand It As Much As You Don't Understand Me, I Think.

Harry Potter, He Sends A Message On Owl Mail While Us Poor Old Muggles Have To Make Do With Instantaneous Emails And Texting. Oh, If Only We Could Be Like You Harry Potter, With Your Four Day Owl Delivery!

Al Qaeda Has Declared War On The Somali Pirates. That Is Awesome! Evil Against Evil. Like Alien Versus Predator Or Cheney Versus His Lawyer.

I Don't Think Of Myself Of A Late-show Host Any More Than I Think Of Myself Of A Game-show Host. I Mean, I've Done Both, I've Been An Actor. I'm Just Kind Of A Carny, That's It.

You Know, Where I Come From, An Antique, To Be Called An Antique, It Has To Be At Least A Hundred Years Old. That's A Law: Before You Can Call Something An Antique, It Has To Be A Hundred Years Old. In L.a., Something That's Been Around For A Couple Of Weeks Is An Antique. It's True! People Are Like, Look At This Old-fashioned Ipod. Look At This! It's The Size Of A Man's Hand! Ha Ha Ha Ha. Back Then-back Then, People Thought Mel Gibson Was Just Acting Crazy. It Was A Very Different Time.