God, That Anthony Jeselnik Show Sounds Really

The Best Way To Break Up With A Girl Is Like I'm Taking Off A Band-aid. Slowly And In The Shower.

I Love Anyone Who Surprises Me And Makes Me Laugh.

Im Not The Voice Of Reason; Im More The Guy Using These Offensive Topics As Fodder To Raise Tension In A Joke.

My Dad Was Amazing. He Raised Five Boys. All By Himself. Without The Rest Of Us Knowing.

I Want To Get A Tattoo Of The Word Irony, Only Misspelled.