God, That Anthony Jeselnik Show Sounds Really

If Your House Is On Fire And You Can Only Escape With Your Life And One Thing, What One Thing Would You Take Out Of Your House? I Got To Think My Laptop Is The One Thing That Is Totally Irreplaceable. Either That Or My Son. Laptop. I'll Go Laptop.

I Don't Ever Want To Have Kids Of My Own. But I Do Want A Lot Of Kids.

I've Got A Long History Of Suicid In My Family; The Good News Is It Skips A Generation, So, If I'm Lucky, My Kids Will Kill Themselves.

I Love Pittsburgh. Most Of My Family Still Lives There And I Try To Get Back A Couple Of Times A Year.

I Don't Have Much Racial Stuff In My Act. And No One's Ever Really Threatened Me To My Face. Threats On The Internet Don't Bother Me So Much.