God Bless The Homicidal Maniacs. They Make

I Think The Warning Labels On Alcoholic Beverages Are Too Bland. They Should Be More Vivid. Here Are A Few I Would Suggest: "alcohol Will Turn You Into The Same Asshole Your Father Was."; "drinking Will Significantly Improve Your Chances Of Murdering A Loved One."; "if You Drink Long Enough, At Some Point You Will Vomit Up The Lining Of Your Stomach."; "use This Product And You May Wake Up In Morocco Wearing A Cowboy Suit And Tongue-kissing A Transmission Salesman."

If I Ever Lose My Mind I Hope Some Honest Person Will Find It And Take It To Lost And Found.

As It Stands Right Now, I Lead Richard Pryor In Heart Attacks, Two To One. However, Richard Still Leads Me, One To Nothing, In Burning Yourself Up.

When I Listen To Those Tapes Now, The Real Cocaine Shows; There's Just Nothing Special About Their Content.

You Know Something I Could Really Do Without? The Space Shuttle. ... It's Irresponsible. The Last Thing We Should Be Doing Is Sending Our Grotesquely Distorted Dna Out Into Space.