For Ten Thousand Dollars, I'd Endorse An

Being A Funny Person Does An Awful Lot Of Things To You. You Feel That You Mustn't Get Serious With People. They Don't Expect It From You, And They Don't Want To See It. You're Not Entitled To Be Serious, You're A Clown, And They Only Want You To Make Them Laugh.

For Ten Thousand Dollars, I'd Endorse An Opium Pipe.

Your Audience Gives You Everything You Need. They Tell You. There Is No Director Who Can Direct You Like An Audience.

I Come Out Before An Audience And Maybe My House Burned Down An Hour Ago, Maybe My Husband Stayed Out All Night, But I Stand There. ... I Got Them With Me, Right There In My Hand And Comfortable. That's My Job, To Make Them Comfortable, Because If They Wanted To Be Nervous They Could Have Stayed Home And Added Up Their Bills.

Esther Williams? Wet, She's A Star. Dry, She Ain't.