Fema I Always Thought Was A Bone

It's A Big Thing Now: A Lot Of People Want To Be Assistants To Celebrities. If You're Pursuing That, You're An Idiot. You're A Moron. The Shortest Distance Between Two Points Is Not A Celebrity, Or Being Next To A Celebrity.

I Can Be Drunk Until 6 In The Morning, And Then I Don't Have To Show Up To Work Until 14 Hours Later.

Then There Was The Man Who Declared In Court, He Wasn't A Person. "excuse Me, Sir, Why Haven't You Paid Your Taxes." "well, As You Can Clearly See, I Am Not A Person." "well, You Look Like A Person." "no It's All Done With Mirrors, Trust Me!"

These Ballot Initiatives Remind Us That America Is The Land Where People Are Free To Dream Whatever They Want, So Long As That Dream Doesn't Make Midwesterners Feel Icky!

I'm Amazed That Anyone Is Interested In What I Have To Say.