Fate Stalks Us With Depressing Monotony From

Do You Believe In God? Perhaps You Aren't Old Enough. The Reason Old People Believe In God Is Because They've Given Up Believing In Anything Else, And One Can't Exist Without Faith In Something.... God Is A Sort Of Burglar. As A Young Man You Knock Him Down; As An Old Man, You Try To Conciliate Him Because He May Knock You Down. Moral: Don't Grow Old.

A Man's Character Never Changes Radically From Youth To Old Age. What Happens Is That Circumstances Bring Out Characteristics Which Have Not Been Obvious To The Superficial Observer.

Never Neglect An Opportunity To Play Leap-frog; It Is The Best Of All Games, And, Unlike The Terribly Serious And Conscientious Pastimes Of Modern Youth, Will Never Become Professionalized.

An Author Should Be Delighted, Not Annoyed When He Hears Himself Persistently Misquoted. He Could Receive No Higher Compliment. It Proves That The World Has Frequent And Urgent Need Of His Thoughts And Will Rather Change The Manner In Which He Expresses Them Than Do Without The Things Expressed.

[d]on't Grow Old. With Age Comes Caution, Which Is Another Name For Cowardice.... Whatever Else You Do In Life, Don't Cultivate A Conscience. Without A Conscience A Man May Never Be Said To Grow Old. This Is An Age Of Very Old Young Men.