Expect The Worst And That's What You'll

To Marry The Irish Is To Look For Poverty.

When You Don't Have Any Money, The Problem Is Food. When You Have Money, It's Sex. When You Have Both, It's Health. If Everything Is Simply Jake, Then You're Frightened Of Death

I Remember One Letter From A Girl In A Midwestern Town Who Read One Of My Books And Thought She Had Discovered It- That No One Had Ever Read It Or Knew About It. Then One Day In Her Local Library She Found Cards For One Or Two Of My Other Books. They Were Full Of Names- The Books Were Borrowed All The Time. She Resented This A Bit And Then Walked Around The Town Looking In Everybody's Face And Wondering If They Were The Ones Who Were Reading My Books. That Is Someone I Write For.

If You're Going To Love Somebody, Love Somebody Who Needs It.

The Purpose Of Writing Is To Make Your Mother And Father Drop Dead With Shame.