Everyone Hates War, Everyone Says.

There Are Only A Few Safe Targets Left, Just A Few Groups Of People You Can Say Anything Negative About Without Getting In Trouble For It. I've Made A List Of Safe Targets And I Probably Ought To Stick To Those. Politicians, For Instance. You Can Say Anything You Want About Them, And It Doesn't Matter How Unfair You Are. People Seem To Like It.

I Just Wish We Knew A Little Less About His Urethra And A Little More About His Arms Sales To Iran.

I Try To Look Nice. I Comb My Hair, I Tie My Tie, I Put On A Jacket, But I Draw The Line When It Comes To Trimming My Eyebrows. You Work With What You Got.

The Best Christmas Trees Come Very Close To Exceeding Nature. If Some Of Our Great Decorated Trees Had Been Grown In A Remote Forest Area With Lights That Came On Every Evening As It Grew Dark, The Whole World Would Come To Look At Them And Marvel At The Mystery Of Their Great Beauty.

The Only People Who Say Worse Things About Politicians That Reporters Do Are Other Politicians.