Every Time I Get In An Elevator,

With My Old Man I Got No Respect. When He Took Me Hunting He Gave Me A Three Minute Head Start. Then On The Way Home He Tied Me To The Fender And Put The Deer In The Car.

Last Week My Tie Caught On Fire, Some Guy Tried To Put It Out With An Axe.

What A Dog I Got, He Found Out We Look Alike, So He Killed Himself.

My Wife Wants Sex In The Back Of The Car And She Wants Me To Drive.

My Cousin Is Gay, In School While Other Kids Were Dissecting Frog, He Was Opening Flies.