Every Parent Knows That For A Kid,

I'd Rather Be In Las Vegas 104 Degrees Than New York 90 Degrees, You Know Why? Legalized Prostitution. In Any Weather That Takes The Edge Off.

The Best Comedy, I Feel, Comes In A Drama Because It Balances Each Other Out.

People Think Living In Your Parents' Basement Until You're Twenty-nine Is Lame. But What They Don't Realize Is That While You're There, You Save Money On Rent, Food, And Dates.

In School, I Wasn't A Very Good Student - I Was Very Irresponsible And Never Did The Studying But Always Liked To Get The Laugh.

Without Identical Twins, You'll Never Get To Experience Entering A Hotel Room With One Of Them And Watching Him Run Into The Full-length Mirror Because He Though He Saw His Brother.