Even Though It's Warm Here In L.a.,

I Came To America, And I Made Good. It's An Old Story, But It Hasn't Been Told In A Long Time. Usually, It's, 'i'm An Immigrant, I Came Here And Got Persecuted.' My Story Is I Came Here, I Worked Hard, And It Worked Out All Right. So It's Still Available.

Occasionally, When I Lived In London, I Would Have Sex With A Girl From An Aristocratic Family. I Always Enjoyed Doing To Them What Their Ancestors Did To My Country.

When In Doubt About Who's To Blame. Blame The English.

Mark Zuckerberg Was Named Time's Person Of The Year. I'm Sorry If You Don't Recognize The Name. A Magazine Is Something People Used To Read.

I Don't Like The Whole Blowing The Candles Out Ritual... Blowing Their Germs All Over The Cake. If I Want To Catch Something On My Birthday. I Don't Want It To Be From The Cake. If You Know What I'm Saying.