Eighteen Years Since The Chernobyl Disaster. Is

As Soon As I Did My First Five Minutes Of Stand-up I Knew That I Would Rather Be A Failure At Comedy Than A Success In Marketing.

When I Was A Kid I Had An Imaginary Friend And I Used To Think That He Went Everywhere With Me, And That I Could Talk To Him And That He Could Hear Me, And That He Could Grant Me Wishes And Stuff. And Then I Grew Up, And I Stopped Going To Church.

I Do Realise That When I Laugh, It Sounds Like A Seal Is Being Molested.

There's Things That I Couldn't Joke About But Other People Could.

Once I Was Doing A Sponsored Walk. In The End I Managed To Raise So Much Money, I Could Afford A Taxi.