Each Section Of The British Isles Has

You Frequently Ask, Where Are The Friends Of Your Childhood, And Urge That They Shall Be Brought Back To You. As Far As I Am Able To Learn, Those Of Your Friends Who Are Not In Jail Are Still Right There In Your Native Village. You Point Out That They Were Wont To Share Your Gambols, If So, You Are Certainly Entitled To Have Theirs Now.

The Lord Said 'let There Be Wheat' And Saskatchewan Was Born

There Is An Old Motto That Runs, "if At First You Don't Succeed, Try, Try Again." This Is Nonsense. It Ought To Read, "if At First You Don't Succeed, Quit, Quit At Once."

A Half Truth, Like Half A Brick, Is Always More Forcible As An Argument Than A Whole One. It Carries Better.

The Landlady Of A Boarding-house Is A Parallelogram - That Is, An Oblong Angular Figure, Which Cannot Be Described, But Which Is Equal To Anything