Don't Worry. It's Just A Flesh Wound.

Have You Been Following The Big Oil Spill In The Gulf Of Mexico? Or As We Call It Now, The Dead Sea.

Do You Know What I'm Going To Do When I Retire? I Hope To Become The New Face Of Scientology.

I Think The Number One Public-relations Blunder Osama Has Made Is That He Lives In A Cave-fortress And If There's One Thing We've Learned From It's That You Can't Trust A Guy Who Lives In A Cave-fortress -- Lex Luther, Captain Nemo, Dr. Evil. I'm Telling You The List Goes On.

Say What You Will About Leona Helmsley, When It Comes To Standing Trial, She's Twice The Man Jim Bakker Is.

Congratulations Are In Order For Woody Allen - He And Soon Yi Have A Brand New Baby Daughter. It's All Part Of Woody's Plan To Grow His Own Wives.