Don't Try For Wit. Settle For Humor.

Nothing Spoils A Good Party Like A Genius.

People Who Have Escaped From Poverty Are Like Old Soldiers. In Later Years They Recount The Little, Amusing Incidents That Happened Infrequently, And Conveniently Forget The Long, Unrelieved Stretches Of Misery And Boredom.

Laugh At Yourself First, Before Anyone Else Can.

Someone Has Said That Life Itself Is A Party: You Join After It's Started And You Leave Before It's Finished.

[on The British Museum:] It Was Manifestly Impossible To Read All The Books In That Huge, Gloomy Structure, But I Made A Good Try And Accumulated A Fund Of Useless Information Guaranteed To Cast A Pall Over Any Dinner Table.