Don't Try For Wit. Settle For Humor.

The Cocktail Party Is Easily The Worst Invention Since Castor Oil

Bores Put You In A Mental Cemetery While You Are Still Walking.

Only Those Who Have Earned Leisure Know How To Use It Profitably.

To Get Fifty People To A Cocktail Party In New York, You Ask One Hundred. In Hollywood, You Invite Twenty.

Fight Fire With Fire. If You Must Have Bores, Always Put Them Together Or At The Same Table ... Bores Have An Effervescent Chemical Reaction On One Another At A Party. They Invariably Have A Marvelous Time Trading Banalities In The Absence Of Competition. Clichés Roll Trippingly Off The Tongue Like Sparkling Epigrams And Trite Observations Acquire Depth Sinking Into Receptive Minds.