Don't Give Me Books For Christmas; I

Men Like Me Because I Dont Wear A Brassiere. Women Like Me Because I Dont Look Like A Girl Who Would Steal A Husband. At Least Not For Long.

I'm Not A Great Actress, And I Never Thought I Was. But I Happen To Have Something The Public Likes.

I Wasn't Born An Actress, You Know. Events Made Me One.

Underwear Makes Me Uncomfortable And Besides My Parts Have To Breathe.

I Like To Wake Up Each Morning Felling A New Man.