Don't Die Until You're Dead.

Life Is Supposed To Be Fun. It's Not A Job Or Occupation. We're Here Only Once And We Should Have A Bit Of A Laugh.

My Advice To You, If You Want To Lose A Bit Of Weight: Don't Eat Anything That Comes In A Bucket. Buckets Are The Kitchen Utensils Of The Farmyard.

When I Was 12, We Went From Glasgow To Aberdeen On A School Trip. It Was Called Fresh Air Fortnight.

I Still Do My Comedy And My Performance Stuff And My Acting So It's Not All-consuming. But I Do Find Myself Drawing More And More These Days.

Chic Murray Once Told Me He Fell In The Street, And A Woman Said To Him, "did You Fall?" He Said, "no, I'm Tryin' To Break A Bar Of Chocolate In My Back Pocket."