Don't Die Until You're Dead.

There's No Such Thing As Bad Weather - Only The Wrong Clothes.

For Me, It's About The Desire To Win. My Audience Becomes A Crowd Of Wild Animals And I Have To Be The Lion-tamer Or Be Eaten.

My Parents Used To Take Me To The Pet Department And Tell Me It Was A Zoo.

The Great Thing About Glasgow Is That If There's A Nuclear Attack It'll Look Exactly The Same Afterwards.

The Religion In Scotland Is One Of The Most Patronising Things... After The Weather.