Do You Mind If I Don't Smoke?

The Only Real Laughter Comes From Despair.

Now That You're Secretary Of War, What Kind Of An Army Do You Think We Ought To Have?

Why Don't You Go Home To Your Wife? Better Yet, I'll Go Home To Your Wife, And Outside Of The Improvement, She Won't Notice Any Difference.

There's One Thing I Always Wanted To Do Before I Quit... Retire!

When You're In Jail, A Good Friend Will Be Trying To Bail You Out. A Best Friend Will Be In The Cell Next To You Saying, 'damn, That Was Fun.'