Death Is Caused By Swallowing Small Amounts

No Matter What You Do, No Matter How Hard You Try, You're Screwed Because It's All Fixed And Rigged. There Is A Club And You Ain't In It.

So About 80 Years After The Constitution Is Ratified, The Slaves Are Freed. Not So You'd Really Notice It Of Course; Just Kinda On Paper. And That Of Course Was At The End Of The Civil War. Now There Is Another Phrase I Dearly Love. That Is A True Oxymoron If I've Ever Heard One: "civil War." Do You Think Anybody In This Country Could Ever Really Have A Civil War? "say, Pardon Me?" (shoots Gun) "i'm Awfully Sorry. Awfully Sorry."

Why Do They Lock Gas Station Bathrooms? Are They Afraid Someone Will Clean Them?

But Wait!!! You Make It To 60. You Didn't Think You Would!

If All The World Is A Stage, Where Is The Audience Sitting?