Communism Is Like One Big Phone Company.

...catholicism Is Like Howard Johnson, And What They Have Are These Franchises And They Give All These People Different Franchises In The Different Countries But They Have One Government, And When You Buy The Howard Johnson Franchise You Can Apply It To The Geography - Whatever's Cool For That Area - And Then You, You Know, Pay The Bread To The Main Office.

Communism Is Just One Big Telephone Company.

Part Of The Kick Of Making People Laugh Was Doing Something Different. We Were A Rare Breed - Spotting One Of Us Was Like Pinning A Space Alien, Or Abdominal Snowman. There Were Maybe A Hundred Stand-ups In The Whole Country When I Was Doing It.

Satire Is Tragedy Plus Time. You Give It Enough Time, The Public, The Reviewers Will Allow You To Satirize It. Which Is Rather Ridiculous, When You Think About It.

What Is Truth Today May Be A Damn Lie Next Week.