Let Me Tell You The Truth: The

Every Group Needs A Comedian. A Comic Who Is Politically Incorrect At The Berkeley Campus Might Slay Them At A Klan Rally.

Part Of The Kick Of Making People Laugh Was Doing Something Different. We Were A Rare Breed - Spotting One Of Us Was Like Pinning A Space Alien, Or Abdominal Snowman. There Were Maybe A Hundred Stand-ups In The Whole Country When I Was Doing It.

Wouldn't It Be Nice If All The People Who Are Lonesome Could Live In One Big Dormitory, Sleep In Beds Next To Each Other, Talk, Laugh, And Keep The Lights On As Long As They Want To?

If You're Going To Stop Masturbating, You Can't Taper Off. You've Got To Quit, Cold Jerky!

I Hate Small Towns Because Once You've Seen The Cannon In The Park There's Nothing Else To Do.