Come On 'long Prosperous Life!'

Alcoholism Is The Only Disease That You Can Get Yelled At For Having.

You Know When A Company Wants To Use Letters In Their Phone Number, But Often They'll Use Too Many Letters? "call 1-800-i-really-enjoy-brand-new-carpeting." Too Many Letters, Man, Must I Dial Them All? "hello? Hold On, Man, I'm Only On 'enjoy.' How Did You Know I Was Calling? You're Good, I Can See Why They Hired You!"

I Know People Who Believe In Ghosts But Don't Believe In Themselves.

There's A Guy In The Audience With A Distinctive Laugh. I Hope That Guy Is Miked. The Only Problem With Having A Distinctive Laugh Is I Know Exactly When That Guy Isn't Laughing. "oh, Distinctive Laugh Doesn't Think That Joke Was Funny!"

Is A Hippopotamus A Hippopotamus Or Just A Really Cool Opotamus?