Chinese People Age Overnight.

If You’re Worrying About The Wrinkles On Your Bollocks I’d Say Your Life’s Pretty Good

There Is Someone For Everyone, I'nt There. That's Always My Thing. And It's Reassuring I Think.

There Was Some Women In A Café The Other Week That I Was Sat In, And She Came Up And She Sat Down With Her Mate And She Was Talkin' Loudly Goin' On About "oh The Baby's Lovely." They Said It's Got, Er, Lovely Big Eyes, Er, Really Big Hands And Feet. Now That Doesn't Sound Like A Nice Baby To Me. I Felt Like Sayin' It Sounds Like A Frog. But I Thought I Don't Know Her, There's Only So Much You Can Say To A Stranger. I Don't Know What Kept Me From Sayin' It.

Me Mum Used To Always Have The Radio On - Even Now She Has It On In Every Room. Me Girlfriend Sort Of Blames That Reason For Me Not Doing That Well At School - Constant Noise, Really.

Why Didn't Evolution Make A Giraffe Good At Carpentry So It Could Build A Ladder?