I Love Fashion, But I Don't Come

I Still Can't Set Up The Ironing-board. A Complete Luddite.

Without Fake Tan I Have The Skin Tones Of A Dead Jellyfish.

A Good Fart Joke Makes Me Bawl With Laughter, So Will Somebody Farting. And The Word 'poo.' You Can't Beat A Good Poo Joke.

I'm Very Jealous Of My Daughter's Education. She's Been Inspired By Her Teachers, And Nobody Inspired Me As A Teenager.

I Have A Fear Of Poverty In Old Age. I Have This Vision Of Myself Living In A Skip And Eating Cat Food. It's Because I'm Freelance, And I've Never Had A Proper Job. I Don't Have A Pension, And My Savings Are Dwindling. I Always Thought Someone Would Just Come Along And Look After Me.