But The Answer Is Simple. Love Is

When I Was A Junior, My School Introduced Badminton, Which Was Clearly A P.e. Department Ploy To Get Me Away From The Wrestling Room, And It Worked, Since The First Time I Played Badminton Was Like The First Time I Tasted Sushi Or Heard The Beatles Or Read Wordsworth. This Was A Sport? This Counted For Gym Requirements?

Thanks To The Greatest Invention Of Recent Years, The Mp3-playing Alarm Clock, I Can Now Choose The Song That Wakes Me Up In The Morning.

It's Kind Of Amazing How Popular 'grey's Anatomy' Is. What Other Show Can Boast Such An Annoyingly Sincere Cast Of Doctors, Sniveling Through Such Perfunctory Love Triangles?

Girls Take Up A Lot Of Room. I Had A Lot Of Room For This One.

The Way I Pictured It, All This Grief Would Be Like A Winter Night When You're Standing Outside. You'll Warm Up Once You Get Used To The Cold. Except After You've Been Out There For Awhile, You Feel The Warmth Draining Out Of You And You Realize The Opposite Is Happening; You're Getting Colder And Colder, As The Body Heat You Brought Outside With You Seeps Out Of Your Skin. Instead Of Getting Used To It, You Get Weaker The Longer You Endure It.