Because We Allow Handguns. When You Know

My Sister Married A German. He Complained He Couldn't Get A Good Bagel Back Home. I Said: 'well, Whose Fault Is That?'

I Don't Know If I Have Sexual Magnetism Or Animal Magnetism, Though Sometimes I'll Find A Squirrel Stuck To My Forehead.

You Know What I Hate? Indian Givers... No, I Take That Back.

I Don't Know If I Was Put On This Earth For A Purpose Or Not. But I'm Fairly Confident That I'll Be Taken Off Of It For One.

The Other Day A Woman Came Up To Me And Said, Didn't I See You On Television? I Said, I Don't Know. You Can't See Out The Other Way.