Barack Obama Now Says He Is Open

Republican Presidential Hopeful Mike Hucka-bs Is Attacking Actress Natalie Portman For Getting Pregnant Without Being Married. It Could Get A Little Awkward If He Runs Into Sarah And Bristol Palin At Fox News.

Fox News Has Changed Its Slogan From 'fair And Balanced' To 'see, I Told You So!'

Climate Experts Say We Should Tell Villagers In Developing Countries To Reduce The Amount Of Cooking Smoke They Generate To Help Fix Global Warming. You Know, It's As If These People Don't Hate Us Enough Already. I Mean, They Live In Mud Huts, They Have Thatch Roofs, Their Clothes Are Made Of Straw. We Pull Up In A Bunch Of Humvees And Suvs Going, 'hey, You Want To Cut The Smoke Out Of Here?'

John Mccain Said That Barack Obama Is Already Measuring The Drapes In The White House. That's What He Said. I Understand Sarah Palin Is Already Driving Mccain Around To Look At Assisted Living Facilities.

They Had So Much Rain In New York That A Lot Of The Cabbies Had Their First Shower In Years.