Bad Psychoanalysis Would Say I Enjoyed Pleasing

It's Not Tipping I Believe In. It's Overtipping.

There Is Something Going On Now In Mexico That I Happen To Think Is Cruelty To Animals. What I'm Talking About, Of Course, Is Cat Juggling.

Be Undeniably Good. When People Ask Me How Do You Make It In Show Business Or Whatever, What I Always Tell Them & Nobody Ever Takes Note Of It 'cause It's Not The Answer They Wanted To Hear-what They Want To Hear Is Here's How You Get An Agent, Here's How You Write A Script, Here's How You Do This-but I Always Say, “be So Good They Can't Ignore You.” If Somebody's Thinking, “how Can I Be Really Good?” People Are Going To Come To You. It's Much Easier Doing It That Way Than Going To Cocktail Parties.

Comedy Makes You Humble. Because There Are So Many Opportunities To Miss, And Strike Out.

I Could Never Be A Woman, 'cause I'd Just Stay Home And Play With My Breasts All Day.