Back In High School, My Buddies Tried

Sex Is Logically Impossible After Marriage. You Have To Overcome The Paradox Of Not This Again, And Hey, Where Did You Learn That?

I Took My Grandmother To The Emergency Room. The Doctor Said That She Was On An Artificial Life Support System, And That Although Her Brain Was Dead Her Heart Was Still Beating. I Though, "we've Never Had A Democrat In The Family Before".

I Was Walking Down The Street The Other Day And These Construction Workers Were Working On The Roof Hammering Away. One Of Them Told Me I Was A Paranoid Lunatic... In Morse Code.

Once I Was In A Restaurant And I Dropped My Fork On The Floor, And They Gave Me A New Fork. So I Pushed My Girlfriend Out Of Her Chair.

I Like To Play Chess With Bald Men In The Park Although It's Hard To Find 32 Of Them.