All Bayonets Are Bad.

Spurn Not The Nobly Born With Love Affected; Nor Treat With Virtuous Scorn The Well Connected.

If Your Master Is Surly, From Getting Up Early (and Tempers Are Short In The Morning), An Inopportune Joke Is Enough To Provoke Him To Give You, At Once, A Month's Warning.

Who Knows But We May Count Among Our Intellectual Chickens Like Them An Earl Of Thackeray And P'raps A Duke Of Dickens

To Sit In Solemn Silence On A Dull, Dark Dock In A Pestilential Prison With A Life-long Lock Awaiting The Sensation Of A Short, Sharp Shock From A Cheap And Chippy Chopper On A Big, Black Block.

Then A Sentimental Passion Of A Vegetable Fashion Must Excite Your Languid Spleen, An Attachment A La Plato For A Bashful Young Potato, Or A Not-too-french French Bean!