Arby's: If I Was About To Be

I'm Not Here To Affect You Politically Or Socially. I'm Here To Make You Laugh. I Use The News As The Palette For My Jokes.

Can't Wait For Tomorrow When I Get To Exercise My Patriotic Duty As An American: Complaining About How Long It's Taking To Vote.

The Only Thing That Keeps Us Going Back To One Another Is That We're All Filled With Such Enormous Self-doubt. We Have Doubts About Our Ability To Be Alone, To Self-actualize.

I Know That The Pope's Infallible, But That Doesn't Mean He Can't Make Mistakes.

A Lot Of People Have Said, "oh, I, Boy, I Wish Hillary Clinton Would Just Go Away."