Anybody Who Gives Their Car To A

9% Would Give Up Sex For The Remote Control. 91% Has Already Given Up Sex For The Remote Control!

General Wesley Clark Commented On Gore Endorsing Howard Dean. He Said Endorsements Don't Win Elections. Hey, In This Country, Votes Don't Even Win Elections.

Republican Congressman Pete Hoekstra Has Charged The Bush Administration With Keeping Programs Secret From Congress. Somehow No One From Congress Reads The New York Times, I Guess.

Jesse Jackson Was Involved In A Three-car Crash This Weekend. I Understand That No One Was Hurt, But I Understand That Two Of The Women In The Other Cars Are Now Pregnant.

The Pentagon Still Has Not Given A Name To The Iraqi War. Somehow 'operation Re-elect Bush' Doesn't Seem To Be Popular.