The Leaders Of The Taliban Said Today

According To The Latest Poll, A Record 73 Percent Of Americans Think The Country Is Headed In The Wrong Direction. But The Good News: Gas Is So Expensive That We'll Never Get There.

Real Movement In The Kerry Campaign Now. His Poll Numbers Are Moving, Donations Are Moving, Endorsements Are Moving. The Only Thing Not Moving Is His Hair.

Jesse Jackson Was Involved In A Three-car Crash This Weekend. I Understand That No One Was Hurt, But I Understand That Two Of The Women In The Other Cars Are Now Pregnant.

President Bush Is Now Focusing On Jobs. I Think The One Job He's Focusing Most On Is His Own. The White House Is Now Backtracking From Its Prediction That 2.6 Million New Jobs Will Be Created In The U.s. This Year. They Say They Were Off By Roughly 2.6 Million Jobs.

President Obama's Been Reaching Out To Iran, Reaching Out To Cuba, Reaching Out To Latin America. The Only Place He Can't Seem To Be Able To Reach Out To: Texas. ... Despite Governor Rick Perry Talking About How Texas Could Secede From The Union If It Wanted To, 75 Per Cent Of The People Who Live There Want To Stay In The United States. Of Course They Want To Stay. I Mean, After Spending All That Time And Effort Sneaking Across The Border To Get Here, Why Would They Want To Leave?