The Leaders Of The Taliban Said Today

Experts Are Saying That President Bush's Goal Now Is To Politically Humiliate Saddam Hussein. Why Don't We Just Make Him The Next Democratic Presidential Nominee?

Researchers At Harvard Say That Taking A Power Nap For An Hour In The Afternoon Can Totally Refresh You. They Say That By The Time You Wake Up You'll Feel So Good, You'll Be Able To Start Looking For A New Job.

Clinton's Pet Labrador, Buddy, Is Getting Neutered. The Dog Will Never Have Sex Again. Overnight, They've Turned Buddy From A Democrat Into A Republican.

There Was Also Talk Of Bringing Al Gore To California To Help Out, But There Was Concern That Gray Davis And Al Gore In The Same State Would Cause Some Kind Of Rolling Personality Blackout.

The Other Night, President Bush's Press Conference Was Pre-empted By 'american Idol.' You Know The Difference Between President Bush And 'american Idol?' See, On 'american Idol,' The One With The Most Votes Wins.