The Leaders Of The Taliban Said Today

President Bush Spent The Day Calling Names He Couldn't Pronounce In Countries He Never Knew Existed.

In Afghanistan, U.s. Troops Are Now Holding An American Man Who Has Been Fighting Alongside The Taliban. His Mother Says He Was Born In Washington, D.c. And His Father's A Lawyer. Well, That Explains It. ... He Surrendered To Authorities And Said He Wants To Go Back To His Old Job - Airline Security Guard.

Senator Chris Dodd Unveiled His Plan To Reduce Corruption In The Senate. He's Retiring.

"this Is Now The Twelfth Day Of Rioting In France. They Have Been Rioting For Almost Two Weeks. And France Has Still Not Surrendered. That's Like A Record.

Here At Work, Obviously, I Make The Most Money Of Anyone On The Show, So I Try To Be The First One Here And The Last One To Leave. I Have The Crummiest Office. I Try To Balance Things Out, Spread It Around.