An Oxymoron? What's That? A Moron Who

I Know A Man Who Gave Up Smoking, Drinking, Sex, And Rich Food. He Was Healthy Right Up To The Day He Killed Himself.

The Good News Is That The President Gets Another Chance. The Bad News Is That He'll Be Two Weeks Older.

For Days After Death Hair And Fingernails Continue To Grow, But Phone Calls Taper Off.

I Play My Life Straight - The Way I See It. I'm Grateful To Audiences For Watching Me And For Enjoying What I Do - But I'm Not One Of Those Who Believe That A Successful Entertainer Is Made By The Public, As Is So Often Said.

I Feel The One Sensible Thing You Can Do Is Try To Live In A Way That Pleases You. If You Don't Hurt Anybody Else, What You Do Is Your Own Business.