Americans Like Fat Books And Thin Women.

The Worst Thing About Being A Tourist Is Having Other Tourists Recognize You As A Tourist.

Windows 95 Is What Rube Goldberg Would Have Designed If He'd Studied Cartooning At M.i.t.

The Dirty Work At Political Conventions Is Almost Always Done In The Grim Hours Between Midnight And Dawn. Hangmen And Politicians Work Best When The Human Spirit Is At Its Lowest Ebb.

Though Americans Talk A Good Deal About The Virtue Of Being Serious, They Generally Prefer People Who Are Solemn Over People Who Are Serious. In Politics, The Rare Candidate Who Is Serious, Like Adlai Stevenson, Is Easily Overwhelmed By One Who Is Solemn, Like General Eisenhower. This Is Probably Because It Is Hard For Most People To Recognize Seriousness, Which Is Rare, Especially In Politics, But Comfortable To Endorse Solemnity, Which Is As Commonplace As Jogging.

Children Rarely Want To Know Who Their Parents Were Before They Were Parents, And When Age Finally Stirs Their Curiosity, There Is No Parent Left To Tell Them.