Although Kurt Vonnegut May Not Be Considered

I Almost Feel Like I'm Unoffendable Now. I Can Roll With Whatever.

You Worry Too Much. Eat Some Bacon...what? No, I Got No Idea If It'll Make You Feel Better, I Just Made Too Much Bacon.

[the] Majority Of The Girls Working There Had Major Emotional Problems. And Not Cries-too-much Emotional Problems; More Like Stabs-her-boyfriend-with-a-steak-knife-then-falls-into-a-corner-and-starts-whispering-to-herself Emotional Problems.

The Baby Will Talk When He Talks, Relax. It Ain't Like He Knows The Cure For Cancer And Just Ain't Spitting It Out.

I Kind Of Came To The Conclusion After I Did Finally Get Married That Love And Relationships Are Just A Series Of Horrific Losses With Hopefully One Win.