Almost Everything I Learned About Being An

For Those Of You Who Like To Scarf Your Popcorn In The Sack, The Good News Is That Newman's Own Contains An Aphrodisiac.

The Spaghetti Sauce Is A Good Thing To Think About. Morning, Noon, And Night, Think About The Spaghetti Sauce. Think About Hustling Other People To Buy The Spaghetti Sauce.

I Don't Go For The So-called "intimate" Stuff. Column Items That Report: "minerva Ferncroft Sleeps In Pink Dusting Powder Between Puce-colored Sheets In A Heart-shaped Bed." It Leaves Me Cold.

It Wasn't As Though I Really Made A Commitment To It; There Wasn't Anything Else Around. So I Wasn't Driven To Become An Actor.. It Just Seemed To Be The Thing That I Managed To Do Best.

Sometimes Nothin' Can Be A Real Cool Hand.