All Publicity Is Good, Except An Obituary

To Get Enough To Eat Was Regarded As An Achievement. To Get Drunk Was A Victory.

A Pedestrian Ought To Be Legally Allowed To Toss At Least One Hand Grenade At A Motorist Every Day.

I Only Take A Drink On Two Occasions - When I'm Thirsty And When I'm Not.

There Is No Human Situation So Miserable That It Cannot Be Made Worse By The Presence Of A Policeman.

I Cannot Imagine Any Crime Worse Than Taking A Life, Can You? -it'd Depend Whose Life.