All Parents Experience The Same Problems.

You Know The Only People Who Are Always Sure About The Proper Way To Raise Children? Those Who've Never Had Any.

If You Have A Question About Anything, The Answer Can Be Found In A Book Somewhere In The Library.

On Many Young Actors That Don't Give Their Parents Proper Credit: I'm Still Waiting For Some Actor To Win, Say, An Oscar... And Deliver The Following Acceptance Speech: I Would Like To Thank My Parents, First Of All, For Letting Me Live.

One Of The Great Mistakes That Can Be Made By A Man Of My Age Is To Get Involved In Athletic Competition With Children-unless, Of Course, They Are Under Six. And Even Then, Stay Away From Hide-and-seek.

I Said To A Guy, "tell Me, What Is It About Cocaine That Makes It So Wonderful," And He Said, "because It Intensifies Your Personality." I Said, "yes, But What If You're An Asshole?"