Alcohol Is Like Photoshop For Real Life

I Would Love To Play Simon Cowell In A Movie - Heck, I Would Love It. It Would Be My Dream Role.

I’m Just A Big, Hairy, American Winning Machine!

I Want To Thank Jesus, And By Jesus I Mean Jesus Hernandez, My Bodyguard

I Have The Physique A Lot Of People Dream About Having. It's My Obligation To Share It With The World.

Aren't We All Striving To Be Overpaid For What We Do?