Ah, If I Were Dictator I'd Have

It's Just That I See Love As Odd As Wearing Shoes-- I Never Wanted To Marry A Girl Who Was Like My Mother And Ingrid Bergman Was Always Impossible

The Lucky Thing Was That I Was Italian; When The Other Italians Saw Me Fight Back, They Came To My Defence.

Anyway, I Lived On The Streets And Did Pretty Good Until I Got Caught Stealing, What Was It? I Kicked In A Restaurant Window, Went In And Took All The Food That I Wanted, And While Coming Out I Was Grabbed.

Ah, If I Were Dictator I'd Have Poets Throwing Bombs!

If You Have A Choice Of Two Things And Can't Decide, Take Both.