After My Bypass Surgery I Knew I

Yesterday Was Chinese New Year. It's The Year Of The Rabbit. And Here's How Dumb I Am. I'm Still Writing The Year Of The Pig On My Checks.

There Are A Lot Of New York City Thanksgiving Traditions. For Example, A Lot Of New Yorkers Don't Buy The Frozen Thanksgiving Turkey. They Prefer To Buy The Bird Live And Then Push It In Front Of A Subway Train.

To Label Jason Randal A Magician Does A Disservice. You'll Think The Laws Of Physics, Nature, The Universe Itself Have Been Suspended. He's As Good As Houdini Was At His Best!

The Senator Got So Tired On The Campaign Trail That He Started Kissing Hands And Shaking Babies.

Herman Cain Was Unaware That China Is A Nuclear Power. And I Said To Myself, 'hey, Herman, How About Making An Unwanted Advance On A History Book?'