Advil Has A Candy Coating. It's Delicious.

When You're In Hollywood And You're A Comedian, Everybody Wants You To Do Other Things. All Right, You're A Stand-up Comedian, Can You Write Us A Script? That's Not Fair. That's Like If I Worked Hard To Become A Cook, And I'm A Really Good Cook, They'd Say, "ok, You're A Cook. Can You Farm?"

I Got Some Tartar Control Toothpaste. I Still Have Tartar, But That Stuff's Under Control. I Got So Much Tartar, I Don't Have To Dip My Fish Sticks In Anything. That's Actually Kind Of Gross. After That Joke, I Have To Clarify That I'm Just Joking.

I Have An Underwater Camera Just In Case I Crash My Car Into A River, And At The Last Minute I See A Photo Opportunity Of A Fish That I Have Never Seen.

They Say The Recipe For Sprite Is Lemon And Lime. I Tried To Make It At Home. There's More To It Than That.

If You Want To Talk To Me After The Show, I'd Be Surprised.