According To The New York Post, Lance

I Like To Stay At Home And Sit On My Ass.

You Know You're A Hot Mess When The Only Person Buying You Drinks All Night Is Yourself.

For The Gay And Lesbian Community, Even Though I'm Not Gay I Think Its Really Important To Speak Out For People That Aren't Necessarily Dealing With The Same Circumstances You're Dealing With And Don't Have The Benefit Of The Health Care System Or The Government That You Do.

Men Don’t Realize That If We’re Sleeping With Them On The First Date, We’re Probably Not Interested In Seeing Them Again Either.

If You Get Into A Customer Service Fight With A Hooker, Even If You're In The Right, You're In The Wrong.